Meetintg People Safely
Jul. 18th, 2006 08:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
melanomanYou can't find a match online without eventually going out and meeting someone new in person. Without the in-person meeting a dating site can't deliver more than penpal level relationships.
The news media blows the risk of "internet predators" completely out of proportion, and I'm hoping not to enhance that myth here. Instead, I'm going to put forward some sensible tips for how to protect yourself when you meet someone new from online. My hope is that with widespread adoption this will allow more people to safely meet.
Mel's FtF Safety Protocol
1) Give the person you are considering meeting a link to this post. The sort of person you want to meet won't have a problem with a few simple safety steps, and reading the advice from a third party can remove some of the awkwardness in broaching the topic.
2) In advance of the meeting, get the person's real name and DMV number (you will find this on your state-issued driver's lic or ID card).
3) Pick a safe place to meet. Public places like coffee shops and restaurants are good.
4) Put the information from steps #2 and #3 where it can be easily found. If you have a friend you can trust, that is ideal. They can more quickly alert the authorities in that rare case that something goes wrong. Put this information in several places, like a message on your own voice mail, an easily found piece of paper in your home, and so on. Don't tell the person you are meeting where the notes are and/or who you left the info with. Also bring this info with you so you can manage step #5.
5) When you meet, very early in the meeting, ask to see the person's ID. If the information doesn't PERFECTLY match what you were led to expect THEN DATE IS OVER --- CALL FOR HELP IMMEDIATELY. Don't be shy about this.
Those five steps are the basic plan. Here are some of the advantages.
* You know who you are dealing with. Your soulmate isn't going to be anonymous, so why should your date?
* Ladies: this exchange of information goes both ways. Some guys may be too egotistical to realize this, but they need the protection almost as much as you do. Show him you aren't being used as bait to lure the guy to where your five accomplices are going to mug him.
* Guys: this exchange of information goes both ways. If your date is remotely near the age of consent for your state, you can quietly check the date of birth. No judge is going to care that a teenager told you she or he was 24.
* The information is thoroughly useful for a large variety of problems other than the predator scenario. If you are your date get into a car crash and are in the hospital, the DMV number is going to be associated with the police reports and lead the people who care about you to the right hospital quicker.
Still not feeling safe? Here are some "advanced" safety practices that can be added to the basic steps.
The OK call Arrange one or more times during the date that a trusted friend expects a call to say that you are OK. Your friend will call the police with the information on your date if you DON'T call.
The hidden address Perhaps you aren't comfortable with the person you are meeting knowing your address or other information. Cover that part of your ID with masking tape in advance of the meeting. Don't cover the ID number, of course.
I hope this helps. Now go find what your are looking for.
The news media blows the risk of "internet predators" completely out of proportion, and I'm hoping not to enhance that myth here. Instead, I'm going to put forward some sensible tips for how to protect yourself when you meet someone new from online. My hope is that with widespread adoption this will allow more people to safely meet.
Mel's FtF Safety Protocol
1) Give the person you are considering meeting a link to this post. The sort of person you want to meet won't have a problem with a few simple safety steps, and reading the advice from a third party can remove some of the awkwardness in broaching the topic.
2) In advance of the meeting, get the person's real name and DMV number (you will find this on your state-issued driver's lic or ID card).
3) Pick a safe place to meet. Public places like coffee shops and restaurants are good.
4) Put the information from steps #2 and #3 where it can be easily found. If you have a friend you can trust, that is ideal. They can more quickly alert the authorities in that rare case that something goes wrong. Put this information in several places, like a message on your own voice mail, an easily found piece of paper in your home, and so on. Don't tell the person you are meeting where the notes are and/or who you left the info with. Also bring this info with you so you can manage step #5.
5) When you meet, very early in the meeting, ask to see the person's ID. If the information doesn't PERFECTLY match what you were led to expect THEN DATE IS OVER --- CALL FOR HELP IMMEDIATELY. Don't be shy about this.
Those five steps are the basic plan. Here are some of the advantages.
* You know who you are dealing with. Your soulmate isn't going to be anonymous, so why should your date?
* Ladies: this exchange of information goes both ways. Some guys may be too egotistical to realize this, but they need the protection almost as much as you do. Show him you aren't being used as bait to lure the guy to where your five accomplices are going to mug him.
* Guys: this exchange of information goes both ways. If your date is remotely near the age of consent for your state, you can quietly check the date of birth. No judge is going to care that a teenager told you she or he was 24.
* The information is thoroughly useful for a large variety of problems other than the predator scenario. If you are your date get into a car crash and are in the hospital, the DMV number is going to be associated with the police reports and lead the people who care about you to the right hospital quicker.
Still not feeling safe? Here are some "advanced" safety practices that can be added to the basic steps.
The OK call Arrange one or more times during the date that a trusted friend expects a call to say that you are OK. Your friend will call the police with the information on your date if you DON'T call.
The hidden address Perhaps you aren't comfortable with the person you are meeting knowing your address or other information. Cover that part of your ID with masking tape in advance of the meeting. Don't cover the ID number, of course.
I hope this helps. Now go find what your are looking for.
